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WHOOPS! Prince Charles in expletive laden tirade about the Scottish
Gingerfightback’s Hugh Pugh-Barney-McGrew was interviewing the heir apparent about his love of courgettes when Chas blurted into the microphone, “I’m sick of these Jock arsewipes moaning about how hard...
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One Direction’s Plea To Scotland – World Exclusive!
Britain’s top Boy Band, No Direction, have revealed to Gfb’s Showbusiness Editor, Matt Finish that their new single “We love you Jock. Och Aye The Noo We Do” The Thatcher Remix – will be released @ 7...
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Arts World – Terry Cotter The Potter
Hello, My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter. I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named...
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Downton Abbey’s Lord Grantham On His Sausage Telephone?
The new series satarts tonight. The excitement is making grown men constipated.
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The Future’s For Foretellin’ Folks – By The Mystic Milkman
I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with little accuracy for a number of years now. I haven’t been very well. Didn’t see that coming. Without further...
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Chairlifts, Soduko and The Road To Rio – By Bob on the Pot
Hello I was round Aunt Bab’s this morning adjusting her new Stenna chairlift. She was very grateful, although medically speaking there is nothing wrong with her unless being bone idle is now recognised...
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Is Shiney the New Sexy? Oily George Thinks So!
Oily George’s latest erotic masterpiece has been described by crticis as a clear satire on the youth obsessed Western culture. “Hand Shandy III” will be available soon on DVD in wankvision. Hello Oily...
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I am in love with my neighbour’s pond – How should I woo it Aunty Bill?
Here To Help – Here To Care Pond Love Help Aunty Bill! I am in love with my neighbour’s goldfish pond. It is on two levels and has a nice water feature in the centre (a fountain of Elvis doing the...
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Cameron’s Final Gamble! “Gingers Must Wear Burkhas!”
British PM David Cameron has played a dastardly final card in his bid to cling to power. BANNING GINGERS FROM PUBLIC VIEW! As he trails pointless oaf Ed Miliband in the polls, the posh boy “Who cares...
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Safaris On The Cheap With The Tight Fisted Traveller
Recently we enquired about the cost of a Safari to Kenya. “Just for two mate, not the entire cast of Hair!” I replied to the quote the sweaty travel agent provided. As we left, we bumped into our old...
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I Ate The Roof So My Mum Sold Me To The Milkman! Help Aunty Bill!
Here To Help – Here To Care The Milk Of Human Kindness Aunty Bill, My mum sold me to the milkman in order to buy a shoe horn the other week. Do you think she is trying to tell me something? I weigh 87...
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Crackhead in the Cupboard’s –“Christmas Drug Tips”
Hi Kids, Christmas can be a tricky time for opiate users! My former dealer Dinsdale used to pack up shop and head off to the lovely island of Santorini to help an archeological dig over the Holiday...
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Barry Belcher – The Mystic Milkman’s Predictions For 2015
I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I predict predictions. These were my predictions for 2014. 1. December 2012 – Like The Mayans I believe the world will end on 21st December 2012. 2....
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Did Katie Hopkins Steal From A Food Bank?
Little ray of non-publicity seeking sunshine Katie Hopkins is under a cloud at the moment. The Queen of mock outrage, who has a trombone for a kneecap recently visited a Food Bank in Devon with the aim...
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The Queen’s Hurt About “Randy Andy” Speculation
Buckingham Palace today issued a statement telling us that Her Royal Queeness is upset over allegations surrounding Prince Randy Andy and his nonce mates. Lord Edward Sneer, Keeper of the Royal...
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Sarah Ferguson Speaks Up For Prince Andrew – Will Kate Accelerate Pregnancy?
Prince Randy Andy’s reputation was given another kicking today when his unfaithful, adulterous, toe-suckee former wife Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson spoke up for the Duke of Golf. She spoke to reporters...
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Bull Pull – The Craze That Is Sweeping The World!
Hello, As Shakespeare wrote, “Tis, Twas, Aforesaid herewith are we not yet more than but could we be? Advance yonder light and rest upon my girded goatee.” Couldn’t have put it better myself. Here are...
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Filthy Sea Shanty Time!
We love the life of a Jolly Jack Tar. Nothing better than a day unfurling a spanker or two and gazing up into the mizzen mast and worrying about the Doldrums. Whilst up aft for’d we pass the time by...
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Huge Soup Well Discovered
A huge minestrone soup well has been discovered in Utah, USA with enough reserves to give every human being a bowl of broth EVERYDAY for 245 YEARS! The well was discovered by legendary oilman Tex...
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The Pope & Prince Charles – Both Love A Chinstrap!
Hello! To celebrate chinstrap month, here are some of the great and good who have proudly sport one. As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”. Enjoy! Here is heir to the throne Prince...
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